i am grateful for…
1) central air conditioning. i had no idea.
2) watermelon, watermelon, watermelon.
3) cooking! i am liking cooking for the first time in my life. last night: a potato and celeriac salad with tomato, carrot, bubbe’s pickles, and an herb/mustard vinaigrette. tonight, something to do with lentils.
4) not commuting.
5) crespella’s coffee/banana/almond milk smoothie.
6) suntan lotion.
7) to be camping on a lawn at the beach this weekend. ocean, i miss your salty sweetness.
8) being all ok after a nasty fall on monday night. walking down the steps into the subway, right after a quick rain, my left foot slipped on some sort of slick and i went flying and landed on my butt, in a small puddle. the mamis behind me started shrieking; i was the second person they’d seen go down, they said. they clung to the rails and went down slow. i hobbled home, iced, bathed, got fixed by chiro next day. whew. scary. it’s amazing how i still have a hint of trauma from it–like that moment of total loss of control, of the world, literally, not having my back, reminded me of some nascent terror, not trusting the ground beneath me. reminds me of what farmer john said to me in college: “valerie, people are fragile.” we are, very, and if we tune into the subtle levels, it’s all there. we register everything we dust off. we are also very resilient, but that comes after owning the fragility. if that makes any sense at all.
9) writing buddies.
10) james murdoch. we were friends. pretty good friends in junior high and a little while after. and having that connection leaves me unable to work up the requisite liberal loathing i’m supposed to feel for the people helming organizations that poison our airwaves with toxic storytelling. i really was/am fond of james–at least the adolescent version of him was smart, funny, warm. (i haven’t seen him since senior year of high school.) and it’s this great gift he’s giving me now: not clenching in dislike when i “should.” but having empathy flow through a situation i might normally work up some ire about–well, i do have plenty of ire, it’s just not able to be directed at him. it’s confusing to my knee-jerk response system. and a blessing to my psyche, which i have been doing my best to train to love more than judge. in huge fits and starts. so this is cool. thank you, james.
11) lemon.
12) water.
