i am grateful for:
1) the elephant god who helps us remove obstacles, blesses our thresholds, and teaches us to be our big, joyful, tempermental, riding-the-waves selves. ganesh’s mode of transport is a mouse. meaning he is balancing his huge weight on a small creature that he is endemically fearful of. that alone is inspiring. and his belt is a snake! “i’m so unafraid of you i will use you, dangerous creature, live, as an awesome accessory.” and that tusk is broken because he threw it at the moon for laughing at him for being such an indulgent fatty. which he may be, but also, he’s known as being one of the most proficient yogis of all the gods. and i mean, how cute is he? “an elephant head only a mother could love.” and all of us too. and i am grateful to m.c. yogi for making ganesh such a groovy, central part of my spiritual life.
2) having friends’ artwork in my house. i love how it radiates their essence in ways that photos don’t. i’m not such a fan of the personal photos everywhere–somehow they feel so fixed in time, stale almost instantly. but creations by others, timeless and essential.
3) latte season coming (and yes, sad, iced coffee season phasing out).
4) being with a man who reminds me of the happy things i write in my blog. “no, i didn’t recall that thing about having compassion for myself, er, thanks. i guess i have to stop hating on myself right now so as not to be a big huge hypocrite.” thanks, love.
5) ana forrest’s book “fierce medicine.” it’s SO GOOD. and important. and intense. and i think churning up my river bed a bit so the water is murky, but i’m guessing i will be clearer when i’m done. really, such a good book about yoga and the tough shit in life and clearing yourself while you’re going through it. she still scares me, but she rocks. love warrior, for true.
6) as per ana, having a chat with my body this morning in the park:
me: how are you today, body?
body: [churning of many voices, answers, complaints, like asking that question at the rec room of an old folks’ home.]
me: well, how can i support you today?
body: water! lots of water!
me: ok, cool. some lemon in the water?
body: no, too acidic.
me: ok, so i’m guessing nothing else acidic either, like sugar, or other citrus.
body: yes, please.
me: well, this coffee in my hand, i’m guessing it’s out too, but i’m just going to finish it because it’s feeding me on other levels, ok?
body: [sullenly] ok.
well, i’m trying.
7) writing buddy meeting today!
8) a clean desk. thanks, me!
9) ok, i’m not grateful for this, just mad, but today someone taped up a ny post article in the lobby of my building about a rapist who’s attacked five women in park slope recently. “monster” is in the headline, and he is repeatedly referred to in a typically postian, licking chops way as “sex fiend.” siiiiiigh. really? a) has no one still gotten the memo about rape being a form of torture that uses sex as a weapon of power? and not some dastardly nymphotic fetish? b) thanks, neighbor, for the heads-up, but this just makes me scared and looking for square-jawed white dudes who have sketches for heads. c) despite the “knowledge is power” probable intention of my neighbor, the bad juju seems to me just to be on a spiritual level attracting bad energy to the building and creating fear. i want to rip it down, but there are video cameras. and what if i rip it down and someone is attacked because they didn’t read this article? bleh. stupid fucking rapists. can’t you get a hobby that doesn’t involve destroying lives? sometimes i really really wish i was a superhero and had an outfit and a weapon for these schmucks. i would kick their asses and heal them into a stuporous peace and love with one hard zap of my magic orb. then train them on a ranch to heal others of their ilk. i am grateful for those courageous enough to heal horrific shame and violence, on both sides of the victim/perpetrator fence. and the superheroes who help.
10) candles.
11) doing morning pages in the park with squirrels and toddlers.
