i am grateful for:
1) my root canal going smoothly, if traumatically. i remembered to ask for my ipod before, so i could listen to chanty music and i also remembered to do chill-out breathing: in five, out 10–exhales long than my inhales to help my brain calm the eff down. it’s scary stuff, oral surgery. so it was empowering to remember that in the midst of seeming no control–jaw propped open, tooth clamped, rubber stretched across my mouth, two people and multiple tubes drilling, swabbing, and suctioning–that i could find a semblance of agency, of calm. the yoga of root canals.
2) sandwiches cut on the diagonal.
3) wildflowers growing wild in colorful batches along the roads in western mass. makes me think: why aren’t flowers everywhere? why don’t we plant them like grass?
4) the cherry tomato plant with ripe tomato growing in the sidewalk weeds in downtown greenfield.
5) homemade chocolate cream pie. with fresh whipped cream. and a chocolate cookie crust. at hope & olive in greenfield. y to tha u to tha m. yum.
6) possibility. and a dram of patience to go with it. usually possibility provokes impatience in me. i am trying to distract my brain while it wants to know everything, now.
7) a new rule for obsessing: i can think about something over and over, i told myself the other day, on one condition: i breathe while i’m thinking about it. the entire time. just try this. i dare you. i found: mental obsessing and conscious breathing are mutually exclusive actions.
8) ferns, glorious ferns.
9) friends. i may vanish from time to time, but you all are always in my deepest heart.
10) flying dreams. i am so skilled at the walk-and-fly stride in my dreams i just assume i can do it in real life. like many things i am good at in my head, this means i am afraid to try.
11) dragonflies!
12) the celebrity memoir kick i’m on: rob lowe, andre agassi. anyone have suggestions?
13) meditating/praying by the ocean. it’s like everybody in the spirit world gets the message and echoes it right back to you in one big cosmic yes, in the form of waves, expansion, tides, and unseen beauty you know is below the surface. and salt. which is its own kind of magic.
14) how my sweets smells like home and love, right in his neck nook.
