the-nook-between-day-and-evening gratitude

day part over and well-spent, night part in a little bit. both social, wet, and good.

i am grateful for:

1) WALKING OUT OF YOGA CLASS. yes, i did it. different teacher, same ridonkulousness. i have this hip thing that’s acting up so instead of doing the 9,000th malasana (squat) of the class, i tipped back into a little bit of supta whatever to open my psoas. i got the vibe that it wasn’t ok, but they’re my hips. next pose is also something hip-scrunchy so i did a one-sided supta thing without removing my blanket from under me–not ideal for the legs, but not awful. and teacher goes, “i need you to do what we’re all doing. that’s not safe.” me (probably already irritated from bad dreams and achy hip): “i have an injury, i’m modifying.” her, annoyed: “that’s just not safe.” no “what’s the injury,” “what’s going on,” “here’s how you can modify,” “you might want to move that blanket.” but a reprimand. oy to the om. and i did a little brain-twirl of thinking “i must just be giving off bad energy,” that’s why these teachers are behaving so ungenerously.  i thought about suffering through the rest of class steamed again–trying to transform the whatever-whatever, but then i was like, “honey, this is your cue to hit it.” so instead of dragging my mat to the wall, i dragged it across the room, told her my injury was too bad (full honesty didn’t seem quite right here), and left. i am grateful for that and the 900 lessons enfolded in that. (like: i know my body best, i don’t need to get really vulnerable in what feels like an unsafe environment to prove that i can, i don’t have to be in the right or even have “good energy” to be worthy of self-care, yadda.)

2) an inspired, sparkly girl-day with e.–appliance purchase negotiatings, mind-meld chatting, and a hot pink mani-pedi. thanks, sistah. (also grateful for: the word mani-pedi.)

3) mango kombucha

4) that this is my new motto to imbibe like water: “there are no problems here.” when i get all a-tizzy and it seems like something is very at-stake, I can say “there are no problems here.” i can stop and notice. a softer, more digestable, resonant version of my dad’s “they’re not shootin’ bullets at you” or “it’s better than a stick in the eye!”

5) gestating. metaphorically.

6) julia glass’s newish novel, forgetting the name. i always fall so in love with her people. three junes is my fave. the books are so deceptively smooth and yummy that you might think they’re fluff, but that shit takes work.

7) color in the rain

8) that every car driving by today is playing michael jackson. happy 51st, mj.

9) curly-ass crazy wild-woman hair

10) that my dancer dervish gets to come out and rock next weekend. must get her out more, get her to something funkay soon. does krishna das take requests? james brown, please. praising the name with the booty.