testing night gratitude

i am grateful for:

1) ray, the hot radiologist who scanned me today. oh, and he was very nice too.

2) lisa, the nice nurse who put the line in.

3) that lt was there to look at lucky magazine with me and distract me from all the sick and the dying and the fear and the sadness there.

4) the candle cafe, afterward. oh green goddess how i love you. and the paradise casserole. amen.

5) that t. did so much of this with me. it was my first annual ct scan alone. sans t. so weird. and sad and missing-limby. and you know, all sorts of other stuff too. sad to be missing the co-captain of this healing team. but glad to have had him. so so glad.

6) the phone calls and emails and well-wishes. thanks, y’all.

7) bathtubs

8) that my block smelled like flowers tonight

9) green leaves

10) this open, sane feeling from so much yoga

11) sharks

12) seeing momix’s botanica last night. so beautiful. those bodies, so strong, so open.

13) chocolate

14) robert thurman. always a rich, informative joy to hear him speak.

15) pink

16) the little revelation at the radiology desk, waiting for the snotty nurse to tell us we were in the wrong place: sometimes deciding to not be 100 percent present is the right thing to do. the cancer hospital can be seen from a fuzzy, distracted, abstract distance and that’s ok. conscious semi-consciousness. sorry, yogis.

17) lime green