i am grateful for:
1) the amazing writing class attention and help tonight. omg it’s so fun to feel like a writer again.
2) that work had eddied ever so slightly for the moment
3) the interesting nyer article this week about neurodrugs. one thing she did not say explicity tho is that–they make us better cogs for corporate ownership.
4) heartman (hi, sweets!)
5) the insane coincidence of seeing my heartpain’s guru on a healer’s altar this morning. with all sorts of coral and rock shaped like hearts piled in front of him. and when i was like, um, that’s weird, the healer was surprised especially because she had just started re-reading his book the night before. when i asked if it was common for him to be on altars she said no, not common at all. huh. so what do we do with coincidences? i mean, nothing to do. but maybe feel assured that there is a force larger and more connected than me. that is trying to mess with me? no, probably not. letting me know that it’s all going to be ok? that i will heal whatever it is that keeps me clutching and i will move along little doggy when the rest of my life stabilizes a bit more. maybe. she said “it is all part of the dance.” thoughts on interpreting coincidences?
6) the delicious healing and reminder to breathe from my belly, not just my head and my heart as i apparently seem to be doing.
7) having some help. help is good.
8) the shrink pointing out that i am not crazy or broken or anything quite so dramatic, but rather very, very tired. on all levels. because the last years have been non-stop with the health and the heart and the struggling to find some solid, safe ground. and i am. so fucking exhausted. i want to be held by some white sands for even a few days. so i have energy to figure out how to dial down the stress i whip up in my very own crowded brain. but i don’t have the energy to plan, so i’m asking around for a good travel agent. got one?
9) my central park glasses from fish’s eddie
10) flowers. blooming. dogwood blossoms fallen smushing. green popping. white bursting.
2 Comments
just read that neurodrugs piece also. yikes.
re: #5 i have been experiencing these coincidences and serendipitous moments a lot lately too – and especially in and surrounding my trip to india… right now i am thinking that it’s supposed to be a sign that we are all cogs (not the corporate kind:) in a big LOVE machine and these “coincidences” are just reminders that we are way more connected than we can even conceive of. i heard a story from someone recently about everyone in the entire world being a hand – all different fingers, but still a hand. i loved the imagery and even though i’ve heard that concept before, it was a nice new spin…and i love the way he told his story while touching his hand and fingers… all what you thought – just wanted to tell you i agree:) as for the trying to slow down – if you figure it out, can you share??? i am tired too!!! am trying to incorporate methods of pausing during the day (more often than i ever did) so that my pulse and brain stay a bit more even keel…
because at this point, i don’t even think a few days of white sand would even crack the surface for me. sorry such a long comment! i am gearing up for my weekend of unplugged bliss and have to get my comp. time in now! xohugfromCT!