early-to-bed gratitude

i am grateful for:

1) jennifer and her beautiful, inspiring art and her talented, cool friends, and that connecticut is not that far.

2) my first experience with live tv being so insanely, aburdly harrowing and yet oddly fun and thrilling.

3) for the yogalocal partay last night–see friend ben’s nifty new iphone app that tells you which yoga classes are where when.

4) hula hoops

5) six point apollo beer. and yeah, usually not such a beer freak, but this stuff is light and citrussy and delish.

6) that i survived a week from hell

7) being at home, quiet, on a saturday night full of amorina pizza, arugula, and gilmore girls

8) my team telling me i did a good job on tv. ok, they clapped and that was really nice, especially after it was so freaky-hard. so, thanks, people.

9) getting to see the urban zen place upstairs. i think i need to live there.

10) the notion that i’m here for myself and i don’t need to bash myself repeatedly for whatever it is i think i’ve done badly in a particular moment. because it doesn’t really help anyone and just leaves me banged up and less able to function as a whole, effective being, friend, earth-person. yeah, this is one i need to kee on getting.

11) the cheesy wonderful thought i had about what i could ask myself in the morning: “how can i give today?” and then i’m looking for openings. i like that better than “how can i get through today?” which is not as bad as “who can i kick out of my way today?” but it’s a defensive, victimy posture that feels ick. so, trying: “how can i give today?” wheee. that makes me feel happy.

12) pink orchids

13) the support i’ve got for next week. just blood tests, as usual. but as usual they freak me out. even tho it means i get to see dr. z.

14) going to sleep now

15) oh, after a day yesterday of talking on tv and radio about 2012–the movie and the phenom–going to a party and running into a guy who wrote a 2012 book who i had just been watching in a documentary the night before.