i’m grateful for…

1) italiano lesson #3. buono!

2) j., for trying to extract the crazy

3) mini meditations at work

4) this color:

5) the cool hatha yoga instruction book from 1985 i found on the sidewalk the other day. everyone is wearing very baggy clothes and it says to wear only loose, natural fibers. oh, lululemon must have hit hard in honesdale, p.a.

6) the tui na massage tonight and how i could actually hear my tight muscle fibers crackling as she pushed

7) only having a stupidphone

8) it being part of my job to help dig up cool quotes about breath like this: “there is one way of breathing that is shameful and constricted. then there’s another way: a breath of love that takes you all the way to infinity.” –rumi

9) finding this while looking for breath quotes: “outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” -groucho marx

10) this, from the natalie goldberg essay i mentioned the other day (which i just found online!): “what a stunning concept! if the paper is torn, bring the enormous tree into the living room.”

11) the smell of chocolate chip cookies baking somewhere right now

12) wednesday, not to count it all away. but, well.

13) today’s brezsny: “ARIES (March 21-April 19): “The clouds are the most fertile part of the sky,” writes Guy Murchie in his book *The Seven Mysteries of Life.* Microbes with short life cycles live there in abundance, “eating, breathing, excreting, floating, swimming, competing, reproducing.” Next time you look up at a puffy cumulus, see it as a large city that hosts a teeming host of living things. Speaking of invisible fecundity, let’s turn our attention to you. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you are largely unaware of how much creative energy has been building up within you. Your homework is to tap into it and unleash it.”

14) getting for a fleeting moment, while staring at the floor through the massage table peephole tonight, that a hard life does not necessitate having a hard life. we need not marry the hardness. we need not pet it just because it has been here for so long. we can turn toward softness, no matter what we’ve seen. “dear softness,” we can write. “you are invited to a party. there will be tea. and love. and affection. we will wear hats and read some poems and eat chocolate. we might watch grease. and go for a walk in the night. and talk about what makes us pulse. i would cherish your presence. your friends light and laughter will be there. music will be easy. the flowers will be pink. the energy rare and sweet and clear. the start time is now and it will last for the rest of my life. respondez, sil vous plait. yours always, valerie”