after an 11-hour workday. in fall-lovely brooklyn. craving country. craving leaves and trees and space and air. craving calm. and stillness. and silence and peace and clarity.
i am grateful for:
1) the show-offy half-moon glowing with a corresponding beauty mark of a planet above it
2) getting stuff done
3) the talk i had with a., who came up to me today and said, kind of jokingly as i was heading into the bathroom and she was heading out of it, “i have a message from the universe for you. i’ll tell you later.” um, now, please. and she told me about coming across a mary parade yesterday in her neighborhood. small but substantial. home-grown, with mary statues and roses on makeshift car floats. and she said she thought of me somehow through this. the two friends she was meeting for dinner, turned out that both of their given names were mary. well, a mary and a miriam. one a christening name, one a hebrew name. and she thought of me. a. is not a hippie friend prone to throwing around these sorts of things. and she didn’t know what the message was, exactly, but that she kept thinking of me.
so i said, well, you know about my mary thing, figuring she must know that mary is totally my homegirl. my prayer girl, my love. she didn’t.
i closed the door to the bathroom and and closed my eyes. and i felt the shock of mary’s love. like she was saying to me–“it’s ok. you’re working hard, you’re doing all the right things. we are here for you. stop, for love’s sake, beating the shit out of yourself. it’s all ok in the deepest and truest possible way” and i looked in the mirror, fascinated to notice the difference between happy tears and sad tears. grateful tears, which i have so very rarely. later a. showed me the parade photos on her cell phone. grainy shots of a giant mary statue poking out a car’s sun-roof, surrounded by yellow roses.
4) the poem from earlier (see the post below)
5) that i’m going apple-picking with j.
*with apologies to the english beat
