inshop.com: AstroShop: A Shopper's Guide to the Stars 1

inshop.com: AstroShop: A Shopper’s Guide to the Stars 1

VALERIE REISS
09/09/2001

Aries The cashier gave you too much change? Charged you $2.99 instead of $299? Don’t even try to get away with it. Your karma is on fast-return this week. If you try any smooth moves or sneaky wear-and returns, you will get a fast cosmic wallop. Conversely, however, put out an extra dose of kindness and expect it to come around with equally instant magnification.

Taurus Your fear of winning will soon be defeated. Go ahead—enter the lotto, the inshop sweepstakes, the tennis tournament, a contest of wills. You will learn that feeling your full triumphant glory actually feels good. For the occasion, keep an eye out for chic football jerseys with gold numbers. You’re number one—and we like you that way.

GeminiEat. Don’t be afraid of your fat shadow. You know the one – it follows you into dressing rooms and calls you names. It makes you think you don’t deserve love like the rest of us. Well, let this one in: A concave tummy and jutting collarbones only qualify you for a good meal. And chubby cheeks and a sweet belly swell don’t disqualify you for any kind of outrageous, deep, lasting, super-true love. Eat, love yourself, get over it.

Cancer Beware of Aries with tender hearts. And any other fiery, well-dressed beasts who scorch you and then recoil at the slightest hint of response. In other words, you’re not the only super-sensitive shopper out there. Wear some homeopathic armor: A dab’ll do ya. Gold chainmail earrings, necklace bracelet. Perfect for fall and ideal for reminding you of the shining knight light that you are becoming.

Leo Are you pregnant? Okay, maybe not with an actual zygote or anything. But the stars say you are quite expectant with big blossoming creativity. Put it to work: Start a business, plant a garden, paint a painting, throw out your wardrobe and start all over again. Do whatever it takes to birth the miracle in you. Jesus once said (I’m paraphrasing), “Express what is in you and it will change the world. Don’t, and it will kill you.” Think (and act) on that this week.

Virgo Sufi poet Rumi once wrote, “Break the wineglass and fall toward the glass blower’s breath.” For you this means, bust out of whatever has been limiting you – yucky job, bad relationship, boring clothing – and open to the glorious possibilities. Let yourself go toward the unknown with curiosity and caution. Wear tunics if you wear suits, write poems if you write briefs, love lawyers if you love rockstars who don’t love you back. Fall.

Libra Get into longing. We are trained like lapdogs to get what we want when we see it. “Cool dress—mine!” Right now, I want: a Coach bag, Steve Madden loafers and a new winter coat. Next week, whether I buy these things or not, I will want something different. Let the longing fill you, feel it and see what it really wants for you. And then think about fulfilling it.

Scorpio Everybody wants you. Careful how you use this power. Are you letting your charm get in the way of integrity, friendship, kindness? Keep going back to your own heart for the truth. And wear the ultimate symbol of well-yeilded beauty. Flowers. They’ve everywhere this season – big silk, leather and knit flower pins on hats, lapels, waists. Bloom.

Sagittarius “I shop, therefore I am.” – Des(shopping)cartes. It’s time to ask yourself some big ones: What am I doing here? What is my divine mission? Why do I have a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear? Go alone, or find a friend to do some soul spelunking with you. Do it thoroughly and then go buy something cute. We must go to the Well for knowledge and refreshment, but staying there would mean missing a whole lot of cool sample sales. Balance is key.

Capricorn In the movie “Blast from the Past,” Brendan Frasier’s character emerges from the fallout shelter he’s lived in his whole life, looks up and goes, “Sky! Sky!” Everyone around him is searching for ad blimps or something. Finally, a little girl says, “I see it.” Later on, Brendan goes shopping, trading in his lame 50’s clothes for sleek Barney’s get-ups. Message: Be the kid who sees the simple in the simple. And be the grownup who knows when it’s time to upgrade. These are not mutually exclusive skills—bad scriptwriters did it, so can you.

Aquarius You are not the most naturally seductive sign in the zodiac. But this week, things are heating up. I’m seeing you in soft, well-cut garments. Blue, not red, is your couleur d’amour. Add some gold hoops, or snazzy cufflinks, a gentle dab of your favorite essential oil. Slip on a little Barry White. And get your most coveted earthling as close to you as possible. The stars are already shifting your cosmic destiny, and your whole star-tribe’s reputation is warming up.

Pisces I went to elementary school with Amanda Peet, the vixen in the new movie Whipped (and WB’s Jack). Since we dated the same boy and people used to say we looked alike, I’ve been rather obsessively tracking her career, going so far as to click on the web link, “What whips Amanda Peet into a frenzy?” There was a list of 10 of her favorite things: Woody Allen, Eight Hour cream, Tracy Feith, etc. Now it’s your turn. Maybe you’re no Hollywood starlet, but your list is just as, if not more, important. Get going. And feel free to send it to me at: info@inshop.com. No stalking, I promise.