i am grateful for…
1) the lady on the street yesterday who said, “happy mother’s day” to me. i was like, who? what? OH. me. thanks! and then didn’t know if i should say it back and decided not to, but chances are in our nabe 99.9% that she’s a mom too.
2) watching h.’s grandparents enjoy him so much yesterday. it’s cool to see how loved the little dude is. i want that for him—love and adoration all around.
3) my cilantro rocking on the patio. the basil did not enjoy these storms, but the cilantro is like BRING IT! it looks fertilized. whereas the basil looks traumatized.
4) starting mother’s day with a coffee/almond milk/almond butter/cacao powder/banana smoothie.
5) getting so caught in the rain yesterday with the boy. we made a dash for it because he was in his stroller while we waited under the eaves of the YMCA and crying. only three blocks from home, i was like, we could just make a run for it. so we did and then the rain got harder and heavier and must have been so loud on his plastic rain cover and so he was scream-crying in fear and i was scream-singing “this little light of mine” so he could hear me over the thunder and pounding rain and i think it didn’t help at all. i had to tell myself “we’re in no danger, this is just rain.” but when your baby cries like that it’s like hurricane sirens go off in every cell of your body, my body. we made it home and i had to lie him down on the bed and strip off my soaking wet top before feeding him so i didn’t get him soaking wet. he was not amused by the wait. i wanted to also take off my soaking wet jeans but did not because he was hollering. just threw a bathrobe on and fed the boy. a mom-doctrination moment, for sure. is there a word for mom macha? when you feel like, yeah! i can do this? momcha? as opposed to the other moments when i feel like, i suck at this? also: the scared boo. hope his amygdala is ok.
6) teal toenail polish. my feet are ready for summer. is summer ready for me?
7) this quote: “ego says, ‘once everything falls into place, i’ll feel peace.’ spirit says, ‘find your peace and then everything will fall into place.'” – marianne williamson
8) clear blue skies.
9) having a new potential freelance gig as a couple others fall away. i gotta say, i love this stage in my career, which has been going for a while, in which work comes to me. reminds me of that rilke quote, “Let life happen to you. Believe me: life is in the right, always.” i know you have to DO stuff and MAKE things happen, but if i’m honest, this works better for me. of course i’ve hustled to get here, just doing assignment after assignment for many years, but nothing i’ve ever PUSHED for has happened.
10) brooklyn, exploding with flowers and dropping petals everywhere.
