i am grateful for:
1) rose quartz. especially the deepest, rosiest kind.
2) allowing myself to modify in yoga instead of giving into “what will the teacher think?” and macha urges. yes, that means side plank on finger tops to protect my wrists, it means sometimes not raising my arms in vira 1 and high lunges to not cramp up my shoulders. it means humping my butt back in triangle so as not to jam my psoas forward. all things teachers try to talk me out of. but i like what this one teacher said the other day, “i don’t know better. if it doesn’t work for your body, just ignore me.” amen.
3) forgiving myself for failing to live up to my and others’ expectations, sometimes again and again and again. it’s hard. part of me wants to never ever forgive me. to make me suffer for my sins–which include procrastinating, not following through, and otherwise not justifying my existence–with more of the same. but we have to grope back to the forgiveness or else we are in a forever-stuck groove, usually of the same behavior we’re smacking ourselves around about. and then we have to forgive ourselves for taking so long to forgive ourselves. because, and inside somewhere i truly believe, “all good things in all good time.” it’s all unfolding perfectly, in divine accordance. and the sooner we trust that, the sooner we are set free. not that there’s a rush, because it’s all in good time. 🙂
4) staying organized with geeky excel sheets.
5) harvest fest this weekend! at stone barns. deliciousness.
6) remembering god. not in a jesusy way. but just, remembering that the universe has got our back. more than that. our front. our guts. our past, present, and forever. god is here and god is love and god is the essence of benevolence. even when it seems otherwise. the brain cannot wrap around this. it’s more of a the-heart-can-let-it-in scenario.
7) the pitch-black squirrels i’ve been seeing. are they like the urban white buffalo?
8) albino pumpkins.
9) the amount of love in this crazy sad fracked-up world. when directed, beamed, it is the most powerful thing on earth. why we can’t group-beam more often, i don’t know. but i do know that when we do, it is magic.
10) ultra-fine point black sharpies.
