YoGA at the MoMA and big new age fun day gratitude

i am grateful for…

1) doing yoga with 200 yogis and elena brower under a giant whale skeleton at the moma. she integrated the space and art into the class, telling us to be aware of our own skeletal structures and how we can expand the space within those structures. the reminder that yoga teaches us how to create internal space when we feel bound or trapped or constricted. we can breathe into how we deal with uncomfortable poses and literally make space and time expand so that we can be more present, more compassionate and of better service by being better able to respond appropriately instead of reacting in self-defense. because when you have internal space like the kind you have when you’re in a moma gallery with 50-foot skylit ceilings and sky views everywhere, you can handle all that is hard to bear. there’s more room for grace, kindness, and presence. so damn cool.

2) marjorie nass, assisting elena, reminding our bodies with her hands to anatomically relax and open in ways that make such safe, good, intelligent sense.

3) another thing elena said–about the anusara instruction “side body long,” in which you focus on lengthening and expanding your side flanks. she said when we do this we step into our own sense of worthiness. and i could feel that. ribs expanded is hard because you are announcing yourself. “i am here, i am deserving of being here, in the world, and i will shine.” she added that when we do this, it is not necessary to feel seen, heard, acknowledged so constantly by others, that by claiming our own presence and worthiness, we claim ourselves. (i have quibbles in general with the whole–“enlightenment means not needing anyone” thing, but also agree that when we are a little more emotionally and psychically self-sufficient, we interact with each other so much more kindly and effectively; it’s so much easier to make space for others’ feelings and thoughts and ideas when we are not on a love-and-approval-seeking mission. also, we can give so much more fully and joyfully.)

4) lunch with the ladies

5) the best half-hour date ever

6) krishna das and sharon salzberg. so much chanting, meditating goodness, i don’t know where to begin. maybe with “bruce springsteen is the boddhisatva of new jersey.” (ss) or “practice is what gets us through the day without closing our hearts.” (kd) or sharon telling a story of a woman who had encountered great, tragic loss whose friends with “perfect, glowing, happy lives” kept telling her to get over it already. sharon said she said, “get some new friends.” and “my friends are all wrecks.” ha! which i love, because it’s true, right? the real people, we (if i might include myself) are all beautiful, wise wrecks. she also said something about how we don’t really see others because we’re so worried about what they think of us: “do they like me? do they really like me? do they like me better than anyone they’ve ever known?” which just about made me pee i was laughing so hard in shame-relief recognition.

7) chanting and dancing in the quaker meetinghouse where i spent my formative years sitting in silence, finding my voice, passing notes, giggling, and listening to others find their voices. not to mention playing the recorder, singing, and being in my first play (interestingly, it was called “inside a kid’s head” and my role was “mission control,” my lines being about telling the kid’s body when to digest, etc. very buddhist, actually–noticing the internal dialogue).

8) sharon’s story about being on twitter and being interested in this pbs documentary coming out in early april about the buddha, called “the buddha,” and getting a twitter alert email one day that said, “the buddha is now following you.”

9) mehndi! (see above) thank you, j. so in awe of your art.

10) my chanty yoga homegirls. omg, i am so deeply grateful to have you all in my life. you make communing with spirit feel like a divine slumber party.

11) grappling with my heart’s truth about this book: what do i truly, non-ego-ically need to say?

12) that b.c. is coming back. wag

13) 10 hours of sleep

14) apples and almonds

15) dreams about mobsters named walnut macdougal