Today was a day at the beach. With lovely friends and one of the brand new babes in my life in her adorable hand-sewn baby teepee. Maybe it’s not true or it’s just the summer weather talking, but I think a corner has been turned. Like that construction? I have turned a corner I should say. Okay I should probably just scrap the cliche altogether and say: I feel better. I feel like the sickness is rinsing off of me. I know, three years later, but suddenly it’s hitting me: victory.
And especially with the headaches mostly gone: I’m ok. Truly as ok as everyone else. Though there are certain cares I have to take. Like my friend J and I have been doing this Bikram thing. I’ve been to five or six classes. And it’s kicking my ass. But it’s amazing to sweat like that, to feel every pore just dumping out salt and water and whatever else is in there. And leave feeling wrung out, done, cleansed. And the repetition of postures is meditative. Over and over, again and again.
But I noticed after the last couple of classes that my tongue’s been kind pale and purply. Nothing anyone but an acupuncturist would notice unless you told them to. So I wrote my acupuncturist and he explained in interesting, technical TCM terms about yin and how releasing that much water and toxins could be depleting my yin energy which is what keeps our immune system running, we call on the yin reserves. And in my case, those reserves are essential to remission. He reminded me of the time last summer (or the year before?) that I tried the master cleanse with C. And she was fine, if hungry, and within eight hours I was head-deep in my porcelain BFF.
When you’ve had as much toxic–if healing–stuff put in you as chemo recipients have, any accelerated detoxing is not ideal and easily overloads the system. Which is rough because I totally love the idea of Extreme Cleansing. I really like the idea of having a lightened toxic load.
But P the acu said I should do non-hot yoga regularly and Bikram every couple of weeks or so. Because that way it’s unlikely that I’d release any more toxins than my system could process. Which is sad for our Bikram challenge–which J, of course, healthy rockstar that she is, is rocking with a perfectly fine tongue.
Anyway, just as I need to focus on my cruciferous intake and getting sleep and making sure it’s dark when I sleep and drinking plenty of water and exercising and eating organic and drinking green tea and not serving tea to my negative thoughts, and not eating too much sugar, there are a few things us “survivors” need to avoid. I mean like besides charred meat and cigarettes and bisphenols. Over-detoxing, I guess being the main thing. Oh and stress. Ha. I think my new approach to stress is kind of like my approach to ice cream. I can’t get it out of my life so I will displace it as much as I can with good stuff. So: More joy, baby. More dancing, more friends, more movement, more life. You know?
I just signed up for a workshop in July that I’ve been contemplating since April: a week of drumming, chanting, and dancing. And lake-ing and hiking. I’m psyched.
And I hope you are digging into summer too out there. I’m still so grateful for anyone who might still be reading. Thanks.
